Time & Believe
Monday, March 29, 2010
It’s nearing the end of the second week of my 5-week long holidays. It’s been good so far, and it is a nice feeling to know that people haven’t forgotten about you. It’s nice to catch up with people whom you’ve haven’t talked to in a while – to keep tabs on how people have been doing when you were busy with your exams and projects.
I like the holidays so far. I don’t do much during holidays, but it is nice to take a break from all that rushing to school in every morning, rushing deadlines for projects, cramming notes from our textbooks in little pieces of paper, and last but not least, trying to tahan our lecturers’ constant...lecturing about the class’s poor attendance to the class. I do miss how I’d whip out my SVE textbook on the bus to school, trying to store as much as I could in my brain’s capacity. People would be staring away at me squinting at the textbook.
When the bus reaches the interchange, I would close my book, and whip out my wallet. That’s when the embarrassment of the ITE logo printed on the cover page comes in. Some people would stare at the ITE logo, and then stare at me. I’d get surprised faces sometimes. Personally, I just can’t be bothered. I’d just follow the morning crowd to the MRT station. If the train were to be approaching, I’d join a few others who would be running up the right side of the escalator (escalators have a left-side rule, you see).
I also miss how some of the lecturers truly believe in you and push you – like Mr. Herman. When I failed my SVE mock test, that guy gave me one hell of a verbal spanking. It really made me buck up for that module. I’m not sure how I did for the SVE written paper, but if there’s a reason behind me bucking up and grinding the SVE textbook, it’s Mr. Herman. I didn’t want to let down people who believe in me. I think I have let many people down who believed in me before, including my parents. It made me realize and appreciate that people actually believe in me.
It’s a nice feeling to know that people believe in you. It really is.
When we return to school after the 5-week long holidays, we would represent the seniors in the school. Our class wouldn’t even be SC anymore. I think we would be SM come year 2. We’re going to be year 2’s! I can’t believe how quickly a year has passed. We’ve all known each other in the class for a year already. We’ve made it one year through in ITE. Half of the course is complete. Sooner than we can all say a proper goodbye to each other, we would all be going our separate paths, venturing our options, trying to come up from were we started, and that is,
ITE.
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Dead by sunrise
Sunday, March 28, 2010
It’s falling dark I think I’m going insane
the end is coming it’s true
I’m all alone and I am screaming your name
it seems it’s all I can do
but it’s too late to turn around now
it’s too late to hear a sound
I’m so lost I can’t be found
it’s too late to turn around now
it’s hard to focus when your life is a blur
it’s hard to see the truth
how can I move on when there is so much to learn
and every road comes back to you
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and the tears fall like rain
down my face again
all the words you wouldn’t say
and the games you played with my young foolish heart
oh I should have known this from the start
oh the winter and spring
going hand and hand just like my love and pain
how the thought of you cuts deep within the vein
so I don’t wanna be let down
I don’t wanna live that life again
don’t wanna be let down the same old road
all those years down the drain
the love is not enough when you want everything
but what I gave to you and now the end is dark
oh I should have listened to my heart
damn, I think Dead by sunrise is becoming my second favorite band after Linkin Park.
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Quotable Quotes
Sunday, March 21, 2010
"The only way to have a friend is to be a friend."
"Deal with yourself using your brain, deal with others using your heart."
"Make happiness a habit."
"A good diamond is made with pressure. If you don't have pressure, you won't get a good diamond."
"The change that you want to see in the world around you comes from the change within you."
"Trying is having the intention to fail."
"Fall in love and stay there."
"Out of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important."
"Don't do anything that you can't tell mom about."
"Only take serious things seriously."
"Your attitude determines your altitude."
"It only takes a second to fall in love, but it takes years for you to know what love is."
"A heart that hurts is a heart that works."
"You can be humble, but don't criticize yourself."
That last one is my personal favorite at the moment. I learnt about that one just yesterday over a really long phone call with a friend (:
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Cloud computing
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I wrote this for my CA2 as a informal report for my WTB module. Well, since those set of modules are over, I think I shall post this up. I think it's quite an interesting read.
Cloud computing: the impact of the internet on computing
by Ramesh
The name “Cloud computing” was derived from the idea of using a picture of a cloud to represent the internet in computing flowcharts and diagrams.
Typically, deploying and developing a system would take time, space and some investment. Along with that, the system would need a separate team of experts to configure, install and maintain the new system. The system may also require additional infrastructure, such as a data center, additional power, more cooling, and backup solutions. These layers of red tape have been infamously labeled as a “complicated system stack”. When a certain portion of the system breaks down, or if a portion of the system receives an update that renders it incompatible with the rest of the stack, the entire system would not be able to function. It would take additional time and money to troubleshoot the problem within the stack, and this is very unproductive.
Running an application on a computer usually requires the use of some of its local resources. Examples are as disk space, memory (RAM), processing power, and graphics. Depending on the software’s system requirements, a software upgrade may mean a hardware upgrade as well, incurring additional costs, among other burdens.
Cloud computing presents the ability to alleviate that entire burden, together with many other advantages. Cloud computing allows for much more efficient computing by centralizing storage, memory, and processing. Instead of relying on the computer’s local resources to run certain applications, there is a significant shift in the workload. The local computer no longer has to do all the heavy processing work when it comes to running the applications. In fact, the user’s computer simply only needs to be able to run the cloud computing system’s interface software, which can be as simple as a web browser. The network of computers that make up the “cloud” handles the workload and takes care of the rest. Hardware and software demands on the user's side decrease.
A good example of a cloud application would be the popular web-based email client, Gmail. Traditionally, a user would have to install additional software such as Lotus notes or Microsoft Outlook in order to be able to send and receive e-mails through a network. However, to be able to send and receive e-mails via Gmail requires no additional software, and, in fact, requires almost no additional costs at all. What the user would need in order to use the Gmail cloud application is a web browser. The web browser essentially becomes the interface software for the cloud application. At Google, the developers of Gmail, data centers process all the email in a centralized manner before it reaches the user via the interface application (the web browser). As such, the computer’s local resources no longer carry the burden of all the processing workload.
Web browsers have grown to become interfaces for many cloud applications. Internet giant firm Google has developed many “web applications”, which are applications that run in the “cloud”. Google’s “web applications” utilizes the web browser as an interface application for their cloud applications. Another example of a “web application” is Google Docs by Google, which a word processor that runs within a web browser and thus requires no additional installation or configuration. All of the processing is done by Google’s data centers.
Many businesses, both big and small, have started to take advantage of cloud computing. It isn’t hard to see why, especially because cloud computing makes so much more economic sense. Instead of purchasing licenses for numerous copies of Microsoft Word and deploying them to each and every computer (and using up local resources in the process), some businesses have simply opted for alternatives to that popular word processing software, and have since switched to Google Docs. What the local computers in the office would simply need, is to be capable of running a decent web browser, And they are good to go. Yes, it really is not hard to see why cloud computing makes economic sense. Other examples of businesses moving to their computing systems to the “cloud” include switching from locally installed e-mail clients such as Lotus notes or Microsoft Outlook to the web-based email client such as Gmail. Businesses no longer have to invest in the infrastructure and software licenses to use such applications. Instead, businesses can simply just pay for consuming resources as a service and pay only for resources they use with Cloud computing.
Of course, businesses are not the only ones jumping unto the bandwagon. Users at home too, have been able to see and take advantage of the cloud. A good example of this would be the growing popularity of Netbooks – often referred to as “mini laptops”. Netbooks are of smaller form and function than regular Notebooks, and usually ship with smaller local disk space and without an optical drive. Netbooks are a clear indication of how our computing experience have slowly moved unto the “cloud”, thus causing the death of physical media such as large hard drives and optical disks. Home users today use services such as Facebook and Flickr to store their personal photo collections in the cloud, instead of storing them locally on the computer or on other physical media.
Cloud computing is thus the result of advances in client-server technology. It allows consumers and businesses to use applications without installation and access their personal files at any computer with internet access. Cloud computing has shaped the future of computing both as home and at work, and analysts believe that it will continue to do so, making computing easier and possibly more affordable for everyone.
References:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mobileme_Logo.png
http://www.wikinvest.com/concept/Cloud_Computing
http://communication.howstuffworks.com/cloud-computing.htm
http://www.infoworld.com/d/cloud-computing/what-cloud-computing-really-means-031
http://www.salesforce.com/cloudcomputing/
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having some (real) fun
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Some of the hottest artists at the moment are coming to Singapore this year. I was listening to radio, and heard that being said in of the trailers that they were running.
Muse was here in Singapore sometime back last month, I think. I like Muse pretty damn a lot. However, if I’m not mistaken, Muse wasn’t here not on tour, but as a “major highlight” and a part of another concert overall. It is said that Muse is the best sounding band in live performances. Oh, how I wish to hear them live one day.
Paramore’s coming this Sunday. I don’t exactly fancy Paramore, but I do know many others who do. People who think Hayley Williams (the lead singer) is hot or pretty or whatever. They’re definitely not the best sounding “rock” band I know. But hey, Hayley Wiliams’ orange hair is really something.
Adam Lambert’s coming next week. I wish he won season 8 of American Idol. I was rooting for him, rather than Kris Allen. Anyway, it’s proven: Adam Lambert made more money than Kris Allen. The same way other idol runner-ups such as Clay Aiken did. I’m a big fan of Adam Lambert’s two singles, For Your Entertainment, and Whatya Want From Me. I heard his album kicked ass too. He may be form American Idol, but one thing is for sure, Adam Lambert isn’t just another idol churn-out.
Those are pretty much what I think. The only live performances that I ever got interested in were Jason Mraz, Linkin Park, and those mentioned earlier. Jason Mraz’s live concerts are epic. Jason Mraz’s songs are great for singing-along. He’s just so consistent.
Aaaaand of course, LP. I’d like to believe that LP’s concerts are the most epic concerts ever made in the history in humankind, but of course, LP has their own flaws. We all know LP’s live concerts sound nothing like how they sound recorded in their albums. Still, LP’s concerts are fantastic. Too bad they came to Singapore when I was still too young.
I once told a friend about how I’d like to attend a concert someday. His reply was this:
“huh, really?”
“a couple of hundred dollars to see a bunch of hooligans screaming their heads off just for a few hours?”
“reaaaly?”
I forced out a laugh. It’s funny when you think about it. Why do we pay $8 for just a 2-hour screening of people being part of a story on the big screen? Poor cash mileage much?
He had a point. I mean, what’s the purpose of such concerts. You get to pamper yourself with enjoyment, and that’s about it. That too, comes at quite a price. What’s the point of going crazy over some lead singer with orange hair. I mean, sure, they’re cool, but...
It made me wonder what these concerts are based on. What the fans pay for, and what the band does. Are the concerts based on good music, or based on how outrageous it can get? Well, I guess that just depends on taste.
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Good ol’-fashioned civility
Friday, March 12, 2010
Back on Tuesday, I came slightly early for lifeskills lesson and a little bit of time to spare before going to class. No one from my class was around, and I sat alone in the canteen.
Someone else shortly joined me. I thought it was a little unusual that she was alone.
“Hey, where’s your usual gang?” I asked.
“They decided not to come” she said.
“At least not for lifeskills lesson”.
“Oh.”
I continued sipping on my Milk Tea while reading the free MyPaper newspaper which the school provides us with on a daily basis. A title of an article caught my eye. It read: “show love before its too late”.
I pointed the article out to her.
“hahaha, maybe you should tell that to my boyfriend!” She said.
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“He takes me for granted sometimes.”
“You know, if you feel that way, you could always tell him that.”
The conversation lasted a little while. I can’t remember everything that she or I said, but the nail really got hit when I said the following:
“Sometimes, you show love without expecting to be loved back.”
“I mean, love’s all about giving, right? Not taking.”
“Like, sometimes, when I might really like a girl, but she doesn’t like me back?”
“That doesn’t completely mean you should stop showing love completely, right?”
“You’ll feel good at heart when you truly love the people you like, even if they don’t like you back.”
“Maybe I should tell that to my boyfriend.”
“...About how love is about giving and not taking.”
It may be overlooked all the time, but going back to the very basics of how relationships work really helps to put some things in perspective. Yes, I’m talking about the stuff we may have learnt while we were in Kindergarten.
Try recalling what we might have learnt back then. For example, back in Kindergarten, we may have been educated on the basics of how a relationship works. You show respect to a person, that person respects you back. You trust that person, that person trusts you back. You greet a person, that person greets you back. You thank a person, that person thanks you back. You smile at the person, that person smiles back at you. Simple, isn’t it?
Of course, now, as young adults, we don’t make friends as readily as compared to people of younger age. Instead, as we grow older, we tend to become more selective about the people we start mixing around with. We tend to make acquaintances first before making friends (and then eventually followed by hanging out, etc.). That’s because we’re plagued by our past experiences. Some people prefer to walk the earth alone, and some people just can’t.
Say, if we were to smile at a random person in public, that person may not necessarily smile back. That person may have had past an experience that plagues his reactions towards a harmless smile. For most people, I think the reason on why they may not smile back, is probably because people think smiling is a normal everyday thing.
What I’m trying to say, is that, what we learnt in Kindergarten, about how smiling at people as a form of showing basic respect to people, is being overlooked and taken for granted. Many of these relationship basics are being overlooked and taken for granted.
Sure, we’re young adults now. And we’ve realized that relationships are actually a ton more complicated than what we have been thought. But that doesn’t completely void some of the basics of the building blocks of relationships. A little bit of good ol’-fashioned civility everyday will go a long way.
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fate played us
Monday, March 1, 2010
“Maybe god somehow knew that if the both of you were to stay in the same class, the both of you wouldn’t be able to graduate?”
“So, he made someone leave the class!”
“Fate played the both of you!”
I know, I know, I shouldn’t be taking such everyday sayings so seriously. It was a comment on something which is rather sensitive to me, which is probably why I never looked on the funny side of it.
I was sitting alone on a bench at the atrium of my school. Another guy joined me. He was mostly a lonely person at school too. It was his birthday today.
“You think I fucking like coming to school?”
“Huh Ramesh, do you think?”
“Dude.”
“It’s your birthday.”
“Happy Birthday.”
We both were on the same page. As such, there was really nothing to talk about. It’s one of the biggest reasons why I like talking to people who actually disagree with me: I like my perspective to be challenged and be changed in the process. I took out the laptop and started working on the project which was due in 2 days’ time.
“I need your work, dude.”
“Here, it’s in my thumbdrive.”
I copied his files into my compilation of raw materials that I had used for the project, and left his thumbdrive plugged in the laptop. The topic had moved to something else.
”Alot of people my age are attached.”
“I wonder how it’s like.”
He stopped eating his sandwich, and looked up.
“Browse into my thumbdrive.”
“There are 2 pictures there, see them?”
“Yeah?”
“Open it. Either one.”
“Nice?”
“Who is that?”
“My girlfriend, back when I was in Secondary 1.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
He was smiling even wider now, and went back eating his sandwich.
“Yesterday, she SMSed me, and told me she had sent in song dedication on radio for me”
“That’s really nice man; you guys still keep in touch.”
“It’s what happens when you really love a person”
“We are men who love truthfully.”
“Maybe I don’t have a girlfriend because I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
“You know...”
“These people who you say are attached, how long do you think they actually last?”
“How fulfilling do you think these relationships really are?”
“Maybe I’m just not mature enough.”
“Do you think I’m mature?”
“Ramesh.”
“Being mature isn’t about what someone says about you or what you do. No one can label you as mature or immature. Not even yourself.”
“Being mature is about how you feel.”
“So, all these people who are attached, how do they do it?”
“How do they find people who love them?”
“We’re in this school, and half of the people here aren’t truly educated”
“You think they know how to love?”
“They can even seem to get their education paths straight.”
“At this age, no one’s ready. We’re not ready to love.”
“What about all those 18-year olds out there?”
“They seem to know what they’re doing.”
There was a substantial long pause before he gave his reply.
“They... don’t.”
The topic died from there. I continued on the project. He continued his lunch.
Have you ever seen one of those romantic love movies from Hollywood? The couples on the big screen never really SMS each other. In fact, those couples don’t even talk much. The girl and boy would just look into each other’s eyes, and that’s about it. They don’t talk or anything. Some lovey-dovey music would be playing in the background, the sun would be setting, and after the kiss, the credits would be rolling.
Love never really has been explained, or even been talked about in detail in the face of the public. In fact, things like Sex and Religion has been talked and discussed about in public, but not love. Why?
It’s probably because love is defined as what you want it to be. Or at least I think it is.
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