Dear Blog,

I’ve been noticing something strange. Whenever something good happens, I fail to write it down here. However, when something bad happens, I rant like crazy for days and days over here. So much for archiving life.

I mean, I’ve gotta admit. There are just lesser things/thoughts to pen down when life’s all happy, and when everything’s going your own way. Life becomes predictable, and boring. You know what’s going to happen, you know what’s coming up next. Now that’s just plain boring. Yeah, happiness is taken for granted all the time.

I mean, come on. Can you imagine me writing here like so:

“I met blahblahblah after school, we headed down to blahblahblah where I saw blahblahblah and I blahblahblah. Like finally! ok so Now i’m at home, yawwwns. SO boring. I’m tired, going to sleep now kbai”

oh yucks, I can only imagine.

You see, bloggie, that’s why I never ever plan whatever I do. I never really did believe in planning actually, i’m always out doing things impromptu. The first person in my life to really prove to me that planning actually works, and that planning is important was my school counselor. I’ve learnt to plan since, but still, I find doing things impromptu a ton better, and more fun. Despite that, a few things, they’re probably just better off done with proper planning. I just need to know and identify when not to do certain things in certain situations.

I’ve always wondered why people found planning fun, but I finally get the picture. It’s the beauty of how everything goes exactly the way you laid it out in your head. Your virtualized concept taking shape in front of you, becoming materialized. The satisfaction you get is really incredible, how you managed to give yourself your own sense of direction for your own things. There’s much to be proud about.

After everything’s over, you can look back, and go ahead and smile.

You know, as much as possible, I would love to make everyone around me happy. I like helping people, doing things they like, rather than doing things I like. But that’s becoming difficult. It’s difficult when people aren’t quite themselves, when people can’t differentiate the difference between what’s rational and what is irrational, and what is right, and what is wrong.

Oh, there I go again. Everyone’s flawed, and I believe we should accept everyone for who they are –and that includes their flaws. Because of this very reason, I’d say we shouldn’t complain about people. Because you could complain about the whole world if you wanted to.

It is really just a matter of your own views and perceptions. Everything is flawed, this entire world is flawed. We could complain about every single thing around us if we wanted to. What we really need to do is to grow up and to accept these flaws for what they are. We can’t bend people to our own will, people are not going to change for you. But you can change!

We all love doing what we want, but thing is, we really can’t do that all the time. You’ll probably end up unknowingly playing another person’s emotions, and you’ll in turn end up being hated. Everything you do will have consequences, and they will all come right back at you one day. At the end of the day, you live with yourself.

Sigh.

That’s pretty scary, actually. The fact that you, I , us, all of us, we all have to live with ourselves at the end of the day. It’s the sad truth. I fear this alot, which is why i’m going to work my butt off to get good results. I don’t want to regret not studying now, and then screwing up the paper. I’m just going to be cheating on myself.

bloggie, you were here. I started writing here in December 2008, as part of a desperate attempt of me to put that horrible year into words. I wrote the entry -  2008: A sad story, to place everything that had happened in that year behind me, never to be seen again. It’s how I spent the entire year cheating on no one but myself.

2008 will NOT repeat itself.
not this time.

so here I am, paranoid about my exams, driving myself up the wall. But here’s the catch: I would rather be paranoid about my exams, feeling the urgency, instead of just laying back and slacking and being cool about it all. It’s where I get the drive from, and I need this drive.

I remember not being driven enough in 2008, and 2008 isn’t going to repeat itself, a problem that needs rectifying.

I think I have been seriously emo in class this week. Its probably me being paranoid and nervous about the exams. That, and some other things as well. But ah well, it IS mugging week anyway. Mugging week *officially* ends in 2 days’ time, and after that, lock and load; It’s go time.

Talking about things that are locked, I am seriously thinking of working during the holidays. Maybe then, finally, I can get the things I want. Topping the list is a brand new gaming quad-core computer, and a new handphone. It’s the only way i’ll ever get to have these stuff. It’s sad, by the time I grow up, I won’t have time for games. A quad-core gaming computer would probably be rendered useless by then.

Oh, and talking about the holidays, I’m going to Taiwan!! Yes lol, ETP club’s going there! yeeehaw, it is going to be so much fun! Yes, I totally am looking forward to it. Throw this in, too: Ms. Cynthia is coming along!

wait, how can I look for a job when i’ve got this Taiwan trip? OSHI- FUX LA

anyway, bloggie, i’ve been bragging so much about my life here, Its about time I gave back what you have given me. You’re turning one this December! I’m thinking of giving you a makeover when you do, but I don’t seem to have any inspiration for a new design for you (new URL? new banner? new colors? new name?). Besides, I like this current blogskin pretty darn alot, and more importantly, it is meaningful. How am I going to retain the integrity? hmm...

Damn it.
I blame the exams.

All the best to my fellow classmates!

Word Out,
Ramesh