Dear Blog,

hi again. It’s been five days since we could talk. Wicked huh, how everything moves so fast. I’m having withdrawal symptoms already! j/k j/k. but yeah, it has been 5 wicked days since. Good to see you still...intact.

Today was a beautiful day. It’s teacher’s day today! I was thinking of skipping the second half of school today just to go back to CCKSS, but you won’t believe what happened. I thought school today would supposedly end at 4.00pm. For the polytechnics, some of them are having exams, and the others have probably started their holidays. My exams (2 written papers anyway), are next week. Holidays are starting straight after that. JC students today have had their half-days, just like secondary and primary schools. So, the only group of students who couldn’t go back are the poly students having their exams today, and people like me, because school for me was supposed to end at 4pm, but, uh...

The first thing I (and pretty much everyone else) noticed when entering the school was the red carpet at the foyer. All lecturers entering the school are supposed to walk down this red carpet. I thought it was a pretty clever idea by the year 2 students.

I woke up early today, for some odd reason. Out of bed at 6.30am, I was the second to reach the classroom. Xin Hui was the first to reach the classroom, and she had just opened it. Alicia walked in shortly after, and followed by Shafiqa and Amira. Shafiqa, Amira, and me went looking around for the exam debarment list, but we couldn’t find it. We ended up talking to Ms. Felina from ‘till 9.30am. Her class was completely absent. But anyway, it was talk about the OFA paper (naturally, which alot of people dreaded), and cats and dogs. Yeah.

“Rightfully” back in class at 9.30am, we didn’t really do much. Or rather, we were not exactly allowed to do much. For the most of COB lesson, we watched one of the very last few of the presentations, this one, Averic’s group. It was alright, they got a B+...

In that chat with Ms. Felina, she said that she wasn’t teaching much for OFA (she was supposed to teach us Search Engines wtf), because that module’s technically done and over with. Her plan was this: we would just come for class, take our attendance, and done.

We were dismissed from COB right after the presentation; half an hour early. We went to the canteen for our break. Literally half the class wasn’t here, but it was only in the canteen that I would realize that half the school wasn’t here either. The student’s surprises for the lecturers have kept the lecturers rather busy, so Ms. Cynthia cancelled her POA lesson. We would have nothing to do until Ms. Felina’s lesson at 2pm, and it was just 10.30pm.

Alicia and me went looking for Ms. Felina, and she said we could just go home; she cancelled her lesson too. Our attendance was covered.

...and that’s how we got dismissed at 10.30pm today. Divina, Mona, and Averic were in the computer lab, either putting the finishing bits to their FACT accounting software assignment, or just wanting to finish it. I left the school at 11.30pm, with Alicia. Ancherle, Mona, and Divina went into the MPH. They had a call for students to volunteer for a mass dance in the MPH. The mass dance was Michael Jackson’s Thriller. LOL

Leaving Alicia at the bus-stop, I took a lonely walk back to the MRT station, where I would take the train back to Chua Chu Kang, to back to good ol’ CCKSS.

I walked to CCKSS from the station (lot1), for nostalgia’s sake. Fondly named “Memory Lane” by Chelsea and me. Chelsea said that we all should walk down Memory Lane together one day again. Isn’t she just the sweetest thing?

Oh, did I mention that I saw Zhi Min when I was getting off the train?

Us Ex-Students were all asked to stay in the canteen collectively. You know, us 2/7 people, we had our usual spot in the canteen. Yep, that very same bench, I had to look no further, they were there. That very same canteen bench, where we literally spent the past 4 years of recess together.

Ernest, Gordon, Tang Hao, Hui Ying, Sze Ming, Yue Ming, and a whole lot of other people who’s names i’m too lazy to type (it’s a long list of people k), we were all there. Majority of the people were the guys from 4/3, that all-boys class which made CCKSS history. From my class, 4/4, there was just me and Hui Ying at the moment, but Joseph, Alger, and Benedict arrived later.

the entire cohort of us ex-students took a group photo together standing in a bunch at the parade square.

Among the teachers that we met and greeted were Mr. Tan Jun Jie, Mrs. Tang, Ms. Vanessa, Mr. Kumar. I was eager to see other teachers, like Mr. Leong and Mdm. Prema, but Mr. Leong was on course, and Mdm. Prema, well, I dunno. Ms. Sim (our idealistic principal) came to talk a little to us, too.

Other faces I spotted at school were some of the indian girls: Abirami, Madhavi, and Premala. Sangeetha didn’t come, but I would learn later that she was having exams. Oh, of course, you have the regular bunch of girls from 4/6, and 4/7. 4/5 was epic lose, and my class 4/4 wasn’t any better. But 4/5 was epic lose.

We walked up to the staff room, but before that, I saw Ling Jie. It was a quick hi-bye thing, but ah, it was good to see him. Nice guy.

While walking up to the staff room, I saw Geok Shan. She had a surprised face on; because I told her that I might not be going back to CCKSS today, but heheheheheh. Ah, it was good to see her also.

At the staff room, Mdm. Ruhaiza recognized me instantly. She may not be the best of geography teachers, but she is one teacher whom I really opened to about the countless number of personal problems I had back then in secondary school, the problems which plagued my studies, leading to my eventual failure at ‘O’ levels. We didn’t manage to talk much, but what she said was just that much encouraging.

Another teacher who i’ve opened up to was Mrs. Alicia Tan. You may not believe it, but this goes all the way back when I was just 15 years old – sec3. Mrs. Alicia Tan was our form teacher for for 2 years. Mrs. Alicia Tan has left the school since, so guess what. The 4/3 boys called her up, and we were meeting her at Lot1.

We left the school pretty early, as the overcast sky didn’t spell anything good for us. We took the bus back to Lot1, and it was one hell of a noisy bus ride back. The bus was packed with us ex-students AND current students, and oh man. That was one hell of a bus ride.

It was alot of pointless walking at Lot1 with the guys, and it was hilarious!
we eventually settled down though, half an hour due for Mrs. Alicia Tan to arrive. We were at Lot1’s rooftop garden. We were a pretty big group, and we did create quite a racket, especially when Mrs. Alicia Tan arrived at the rooftop garden, with us cheering like hooligans. You know, the usual “WOOOOOO!!!1”. We had quite a bit of the public staring at us, BUT WHO CARES?

It was a unique occasion, and crap, we should have taken pictures of us and Mrs. Alicia Tan at lot1’s rooftop garden together. But you see, we were all guys. We don’t do pictures! so no pictures, just memories buried deep in our hearts for us to bring back home =).

Alot of catching up, asking the well-being of each other, school life, this and that. Which, by the way, lasted pretty damn long surprisingly. Cracked some jokes, you know, the usual. These was a funny instance though, when Ernest asked if or not the “pay was still the same”. Mrs. Alicia Tan misinterpreted that as the “face was still the same”. Man, Mrs. Tan’s reply to Ernest’s question was LOL

Mrs. Alicia Tan had shifted house since too. She lives near Sunshine Place! Back in Secondary School, I used to go past Sunshine Place everyday. I still do go past there every now and then, when I take bus 975 from Chua Chu Kang or Bukit Panjang back home. Damn, that place is just all too familiar. So, Mrs. Tan takes 172 back home.

172. That bus which I used to take everyday when I was still living in Jurong. That bus which Chelsea and I simple loveee taking together after school, LOL

Ah, but 975 goes to Sunshine Place too. So I asked Mrs. Alicia Tan to take the same bus with me home. and we did! This was when Mrs. Alicia Tan and I would actually talk quite alot. And it was after talking to her, that I realized...

bloggie, my life’s changed alot in the past...12 months. My life has taken shape in such a way, a form so unimaginable. Some good, some bad. But i’m hoping it’s mostly good! haha

Mrs. Alicia Tan really brought back some of my own history (remember, it goes way back to sec3). My temper problem at home and school, anger management issues, depression, stress, emo, being late for school, sleeping the entire day in school away, my relationship with my parents, 4 counselors in a year, stuff like these.

Yeah, I may sleep in class still, but hell, its far better than what I was in cckss. I still have problems manging my emotions, but hell, right now, that too is far better than what I was in cckss. I don’t throw and break stuff at home anymore. Looking back, tossing a classmate’s bag halfway across the classroom, throwing a table at a teacher, breaking a stool to pieces in the F&N kitchen, shouting at someone so loud till the entire corridor could hear me, slamming a school’s computer keyboard against its screen, I can’t believe I actually did all those things.

I don’t argue and shout vulgarities at my parents anymore, I mean, everything’s just died down since. Yes, we still might argue over things, but its miles better than what happened a couple of years ago. My dad finally talks to me, my results at school aren’t half as bad either. Things are going well, bloggie. That’s the shape my life has taken. I don’t even seem to need a counselor as much anymore.

you know what makes me sad right now? it’s my friends at school dude. They’re such a lovely bunch of people, really.

I guess life can’t be perfect, things just can’t go the way you want it to. I still think things are going well, but school, I just don’t look forward to school as much I used to, if I even do look forward to school in the first place at all. Sure, I might have ended up in a crap school. But without coming here to ITE, this change in my life would have never taken place. Sure, it is not a course of my choice, but I like it. For this, I owe ITE something.

The funny thing is, when Mrs. Alicia Tan asked me how did these things happen, I couldn’t answer. I think my temper problem is still there, but...I don’t know.

As I continued spilling out my “story” to her, she said it was nice to see me like this. She said it was nice to see me happy once again. Her bus stop soon came, and we had to split ways. Cut short by the bus journey. Reminds me of Chelsea and me on 172 all over again.

Speaking of which, that very bus stop Mrs. Alicia Tan alighted at, was the stop I took the bus from to home on the first day of school for me in ITE, it was Chelsea’s birthday. I’m not sure if she remembers this though. LOL, Chelsea, if you’re reading this, pardon me for your prominent presence in this post.

This is serious nostalgia XD.
no kidding, I srs

 
2/7 forever!!!
lol @ Joseph's glasses.

Ancherle said I look gay. Thanks ah! I know i’m ugly.

okay, so life doesn’t suck. But take a fuckload of drugs anyway.
with what Mrs. Alicia Tan has said to me in mind, I continue walking –pushing.

Word Out,
Ramesh

this never get old, does it.


And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly