"you have my sympathy"
Sunday, April 19, 2009

I can't help but to feel envious when I read that my classmates and friends from secondary school have gone to a good place, and put simply, are loving where they have ended up in. I know it's wrong to feel envious about this, but I can't help it.

As of now, the first week of school has officially ended. How was it like? To tell the truth, it's a mixed bag of beans.

I was my largest fear that ITE would be bad, so bad, that I wouldn't be able to study. On the first day of school, it felt like it all happened exactly as I feared, and nearly cried on the way home, wondering how I was supposed to progress academically in that school. However, things improved quickly right from the second day. More than anything, I'm glad that I met new people. I'm just glad that, school, isn't going to be all hell. And that is all I need to pull through the next 2 years or so.

While the campus is shit, while the canteen's food isn't much of a big deal, while my fellow classmates scared the sh-- out of me on the first day because they were so much older than me, i've noticed that there's just something different in ITE. You can exactly put into words, but hopefully, people reading this will get the idea at the end of this post. Somehow.


here's my class:
The entire class isn't in this picture, my class has 35 people in it. Picture coutesy of Siti's Paparazzi. Also, I look like crap. Don't mind that.

People who have moved on to polytechnic or JC, so far, i've heard that they all, one way or another, are okay with their class. How their class is like though, I've got no idea. I thought it would be a good idea to post this picture -just to show, how my class is like. To all of you people who think it's freaky at first sight, you are right.

That is, -until you discover every single one of these people in my class. In that picture:

-Most of the guys are smokers
-Most of the people overall are older than me, and around 5 people are of the same age as me
-There's a girl who's parents are divorced, and has been abused by her boyfriend
-All of them are O level certificate holders (but didn't do very well I guess)
-A guy who is gay, or at least, he claims to be
-A serious handful of non-virgins. Not kiddin'
-Literally, the shortest person in the class is 21 years of age.
-cliques, are almost non-existent.
-There's this girl who lives in Pasir Ris, works at Changi Airport, and travels all the way to this ITE clementi everyday-just to study. And I was talking about the long journey to school in my previous post.
-Quite a handful of people who are attatched (it's rare to find someone who hasn't been attached before actually, I think i'm virtually the only one)
-No one's a gangster (even if they appeared to seem like one. Actually, i've never seen a real gangter in my life. Yet.)
-No one's stupid. This class may not have scored in our O's, but that doesn't make anyone stupid. I think i'm going to face some seeeerious competition ohshitohshitohshitohshit
-And somehow, the people here click (as of the second day onwards, that is.)

The first day of school was pretty much loney throughout -with some of the guys coming over to say hi. I had a quick lunch, and was the first to sit at the MPH. 2 guys joined me later on. Apparently, they went out of the campus for a "puff". In class, the girls kept to themselves, and the guys did the same. There wasn't much that helped these 2 distinct groups of people in the class to gel together, and as such, it stayed the same till the end of the first day of school.

After the horrible amount of negativity on the first day, I really wanted to make tomorrow a better day. As much as possible, I chose to stay positive about things, despite the hurt I feel all the time. It was helped by an incredible motivational talk first thing in the morning, the motivational speaker said, "we failed, but we're not failures". That, among other things, which really helped to set the right gear for day 2. Boy, what a day it turned out to be.

The second day called our class to come together, because we had to come up with a class cheer. It was rather quick, but more than anything, it was clear people were getting along very well. Yes, both the guys and the girls. Yeh!

It was what happened after we were dismissed which sparked my interest. I love spending time, and especially since going home wasn't going to be much (no homework, nothing), I stayed back with 3 other people. I'm going to keep their identities secret though. 2 guys, including me, and 2 girls.

At the canteen, we simply had a long chat, about all sorts of stuff. It included what we thought about our new class/school, how the teachers are like, and other new people they've met. The two girls thought our class was kinda cute, and blah blah blah. One girl said she was disappointed that she didn't find any cute guy at all in ITE. It was then I realized, the guys here, they all weren't much of a big deal in terms of looks.

The girl who said that came across as a very cheerful person all the time. That is, until her boyfriend called her. She was annoyed, and the smile she wore all the time immediately dissapeared. A frown came up, and her eyes started to tear. After the conversation she had with her boyfriend, she put down the phone, kept quiet for a while, and said "can you guys keep a secret?"

It was then she would unravel a long and shocking portion of her life, which I'm guessing, rarely managed to get out, until this fine day. I could relate to some of her incidents, especially the problems she had with her family. The entire conversation's mood became remarkably composed, and with a fairly softened voice, the other girl said, looking into both of our faces:

"you have my sympathy"

She couldn't get home until 9PM, for reasons I don't want to state here. We chose to stick by her for as long as we could, which lasted until 8PM. She said she's never hanged out with her friends so late into the night.

Our temporary class advisor, is a young malay lady who just got engaged. She said she was from the express stream, didn't do well for her O's, and ended up in ITE clementi. Right now, she's going to pursue a Degree. Now that i've seen her, i'm more than convinced it is possible to pick up from where I left off from secondary school. It's the first time i've felt like this: I really now know what it's like to believe in myself, and to just believe. To do well, and someone someday.

I asked her why she was teaching in ITE clementi. She told the class that she wanted to give back what that very campus has given to her. It may be as hell old, but it sure is gold to people like her, and it means alot. It's a no wonder why ITE has both good and bad rep. It's because of stories like these, and hopefully, i'll be one of these stories too.

I've noticed, more than anything -there's heart here. No one's arrogant, the teachers are like our friends, ready to stop by just for a chat, and the likes. I didn't see any of these in CCKSS, and that's the difference I noted. In CCKSS, no matter how much the teacher helped us, they always left us with the impression that they have thier foot on our heads. That lack of freedom, is'nt here.

As for the bad rep, while the students here looks daunting/scary/unapproachable at times, they're all still human. Be nice to them, and they're nice back. Don't hold grudges of any form, and they would have no reason to do the same. Put on a smile, be nice, and be willing to go the extra mile in anything no matter how long it take, and no matter how hard it is. This, is what it means to be human. Every single person I know who went to a JC don't have time for things like this, or anything else at all. That's just sad.

It's just the first week of school, and i've discovered so much. I feel that more people should take some time of to do just this: Discover the things around you. Not just to know, but to discover. It will take you places far beyond what you would expect to be at.

Pity bout' the JC students though. They're stretched like crazy, with no time for anything else.

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